Everyone But Robert Saleh Can See Zach Wilson Isn’t the Guy for the Jets. Maybe NFL Hinge Could Help.

You’ve all got that friend. The one who is stuck in an unhappy relationship. It’s clear to everyone that it isn’t working, you know your friend could do better, and it’s time to take action.

In the NFL, that friend is New York Jets head coach Robert Saleh, who is, for some reason, stubbornly and steadfastly committed to quarterback Zach Wilson despite seasons of evidence that Wilson is not a good quarterback. Saleh is at least a little curious about his other options—the Jets signed Trevor Siemian to the practice squad on Tuesday—but we want Saleh to think bigger. So, being the good friends that we are, we’re going behind Saleh’s back and putting him on NFL Hinge: It’s time for him to see what other quarterback options are out there and start swiping, because if Travis Kelce has taught us anything, it’s that you’ve got to shoot your shot.

Robert Saleh

Now it’s time to start scrolling. Which of these potentially attainable quarterbacks should get Saleh’s like? Who is worthy of the rare superlike? And who should get the dislike—the dating app equivalent of a stiff-arm to the face?

Tom Brady

Is he better than Zach Wilson? The easiest “yes” on this list. Though Brady had a down year in 2022 by GOAT standards, he still threw 25 touchdown passes and would have a blast throwing to Garrett Wilson. Sure, he’d have to (a) be convinced to unretire and (b) work through some league logistics because of his involvement with the Raiders, but you’ve got to at least throw him a superlike and see whether he responds.

Verdict: Superlike

Kirk Cousins

Is he better than Zach Wilson? Yes, but at what cost? Minnesota’s floor price for Cousins would likely be a Day 2 draft pick—a lot for a half-season rental QB who is set to be a free agent after 2023. Still, Cousins would undoubtedly raise the ceiling for the current Jets, and if the goal here is still to make the playoffs this season, he might be the most realistic option to get there. Could the Jets wind up regretting it if they’re competitive enough with Cousins to make the playoffs but he’s not good enough to make a deep run?

Verdict: Like

Sam Darnold

Is he better than Zach Wilson? Yes, for the content alone. Imagine the memes! Imagine the TikToks to Olivia Rodrigo’s “bad idea right?” Maybe two people can reconnect. The Jets owe this to us.

Verdict: Superlike

Joe Flacco

Is he better than Zach Wilson? No. And drop the age filter down a bit, Saleh, you sicko.

Verdict: Dislike

Baker Mayfield

Is he better than Zach Wilson? Yes, but keep in mind that this bar is extremely low. Plus, Mayfield looks happy in Tampa, where he beat out Kyle Trask to be QB1. He’s having fun. Don’t pull him out of the one seemingly good relationship he’s ever had just to throw him into yet another toxic one.

Verdict: Dislike

Gardner Minshew

Is he better than Zach Wilson? Absolutely. Minshew started (and won) in Week 3 while rookie Anthony Richardson was out with a concussion. The Colts might be unwilling to part with a trusty veteran backup, but Minshew is definitely worth a dropping a like to find out. (He’s also infinitely easier to root for than Wilson, which has to be a factor in what will likely be a lost season for the Jets.)

Verdict: Superlike

Kyler Murray

Is he better than Zach Wilson? Duh. But he’s expensive and injured. Murray isn’t even in the Jets’ league; he’s on Football Raya, if he’s even on a dating app at all.

Verdict: Like (but he doesn’t like back)

Matt Ryan

Is he better than Zach Wilson? Yes, by a lot. Even if he isn’t interested in playing in New York and would rather continue his new CBS broadcasting gig, a reluctant Ryan is a better option for Saleh and the Jets right now.

Verdict: Like

Ryan Tannehill

Is he better than Zach Wilson? Yes, technically. But this is an even riskier rebound than Cousins. Tannehill would also cost at least a second-day pick (and $27 million in salary) to acquire: a lot for a 35-year-old quarterback who has been inconsistent—with one touchdown, three picks, and 13 sacks—through the first three weeks of the season.

Verdict: Dislike

Carson Wentz

Is he better than Zach Wilson? Honestly, no. Wilson vs. Wentz would either be a mid-off or that meme of garbage bins racing in the rain. They’re both inconsistent as hell. The grass isn’t always greener; Saleh should pass.

Verdict: Dislike